I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
BILLY CONNOLLY