People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
BILLY CONNOLLYI set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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