The more you know the less the better.
BILLY CONNOLLYDid your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
BILLY CONNOLLY