Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
BILLY CONNOLLYMarriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Don’t work out, work in.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That’s what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
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Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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I don’t believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It’s on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it’s supposed to give you a parking space. It’s worked so far.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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The more you know the less the better.
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There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
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For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
BILLY CONNOLLY