Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
BILLY CONNOLLYA well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
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I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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The more you know the less the better.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
BILLY CONNOLLY