I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLYIf you give people a chance, they shine.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. “Is this yours?” she asked “probably” said Paddy “she burns everything else”
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY






