Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
BILLY CONNOLLYIf I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
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Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
BILLY CONNOLLY