Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
BILLY CONNOLLYIf I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
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There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear attack it’ll look exactly the same afterwards.
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For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
BILLY CONNOLLY