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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.

Billy Connolly

Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Cowardice Language Politically Correct
I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Angel Atheist Believe God People
I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Found People Scared
I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Desperate People Themselves Thinking
Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Constitution Happiness Revolution Unique Written
I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Days Reinvents Two
As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Reserves Successful
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Differences Everything Funny Menu Travel
For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Animal Desire Winning
I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Algebra Funny Humor Likely never
Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Humor Mother
Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Baby Bastard Purpose
The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Apparently Men Race Sex Women
[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Arriving Kill Killing MIssed Time
I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Drinking Ideas Stills Stop
The more you know the less the better.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Better Knows Less More

I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.

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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Billy Connolly Quotes