Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLYWisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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I don’t believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It’s on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it’s supposed to give you a parking space. It’s worked so far.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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The more you know the less the better.
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
BILLY CONNOLLY







