I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
BILLY CONNOLLYI am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That’s what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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I don’t believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It’s on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it’s supposed to give you a parking space. It’s worked so far.
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
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I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can’t fly
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
BILLY CONNOLLY