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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.

Bill Watterson

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Failure Resources Wells
It’s surprising how hard we’ll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Hard Surprising
I’m related to people I don’t relate to.
BILL WATTERSON

People Relate Related
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON

Esteem Expectations Secret Self
Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON

Animal Ask Friendship Kindness Problem
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
BILL WATTERSON

Dark Imagine Thinking
Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn’t going out.
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Dark Daylight Mean Truth
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
BILL WATTERSON

Believe Evil Men
If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.
BILL WATTERSON

Artist Jobs Thinking
One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.
BILL WATTERSON

Fantasies Head Realistically Since
Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Rain Reading
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television
We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Science
Hold it. You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?
BILL WATTERSON

Pigs Riding Three

Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.

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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Watterson Quotes