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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.

Bill Watterson

Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.
BILL WATTERSON

Buttons Funny Light
My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
BILL WATTERSON

Lips Moving Thinking
Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
BILL WATTERSON

Cutting Mom Vegetables
That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
BILL WATTERSON

Being Country Differences Happiness Happy
Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
BILL WATTERSON

Believe Evil Men
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
BILL WATTERSON

Children Mom Motivational
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
BILL WATTERSON

Snow Winning
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
Does anything we say or do in here really matter? Have we done anything important? Have we been happy? Have we made the most of these precious few footsteps?
BILL WATTERSON

Footstep Important Made Matter Precious
Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you’re done before you know it.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Looks Secret
Every artist learns through imitation, but I rather doubt the aim of these things is artistic development.
BILL WATTERSON

Artist Doubt Taken Talking
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
BILL WATTERSON

Invention Mother Motherhood
You have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it’s going to come in handy all the time.
BILL WATTERSON

Army Handy Knife Swiss Time
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
BILL WATTERSON

Acid Failing Tests
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
BILL WATTERSON

Accomplish Funny Life Motivational Nothing

Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.

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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Watterson Quotes