I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
BILL WATTERSONMy whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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Scientific Progress goes boink?
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In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
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I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
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Although I’m certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I’m fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.
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I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
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Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
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Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
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I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
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Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
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Good friends are hard to come by… I need more money.
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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
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Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?
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Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
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I let my mind wander and it didn’t come back.
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Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.
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Sleepwalking?” “Nightmare?” “Homicidal psycho jungle cat!
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Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
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Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another
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I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
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Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
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Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
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Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
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Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
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Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
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I knew you’d win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming “Aaaaaaaaaaaa”, then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it’s just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
BILL WATTERSON