We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
BILL WATTERSONWhat’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
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It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.
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Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
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Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!
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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
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Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
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You have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it’s going to come in handy all the time.
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
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Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
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When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
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We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
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As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
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I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
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It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
BILL WATTERSON