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Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

Bill Watterson

Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond’rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces… Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug’s juices!
BILL WATTERSON

Design Grace Produce Spiders
I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
BILL WATTERSON

Behavior Encouragement Friendship Modification
Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
BILL WATTERSON

Drugs Missing Rooms Trashed
Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
BILL WATTERSON

Boys Inscrutable Omen
I’d like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
BILL WATTERSON

Higher Paper Standards
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON

Bird Bugs Taste
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
BILL WATTERSON

Accomplish Funny Life Motivational Nothing
You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.
BILL WATTERSON

Afford Ignorant Knowledge Least Paralyzing
I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSON

Autopsy Bigs Mouths People
Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
BILL WATTERSON

Boys Kids Resources Scary Supposed
Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another
BILL WATTERSON

Careers Happy Person
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorance Learning Waste
I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.
BILL WATTERSON

Liked Thing Understand
You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.
BILL WATTERSON

Chemistry Design Ingredients
Suddenly, we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless?
BILL WATTERSON

Experience Pointless Suddenly Time
A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSON

Color Crayon Order Perfect Pointy

Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

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Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

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Popular Authors

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