It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.
BILL WATTERSONEvery time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
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You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
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We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
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I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
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I knew you’d win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming “Aaaaaaaaaaaa”, then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it’s just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
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Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
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Do you feel lonely? I don’t have the courage to face reality so I get lost in my dreams. You know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
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I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
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One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.
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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
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There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
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So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
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I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.
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They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.
BILL WATTERSON