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I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!

Bill Watterson

Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie
Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?
BILL WATTERSON

Faces People Possums
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON

Bird Bugs Taste
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.
BILL WATTERSON

Painting Solve Tigers Vans
Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
BILL WATTERSON

Delusion Faces Life People Preposterous
I’M SIGNIFICANT!!! … Say’s the dust speck.
BILL WATTERSON

Dust Say Significant Specks
Hold it. You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?
BILL WATTERSON

Pigs Riding Three
Suddenly, we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless?
BILL WATTERSON

Experience Pointless Suddenly Time
And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
BILL WATTERSON

Admission Anyone Exciting Gate More
You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
BILL WATTERSON

Failure Headed Resources Success Truth
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
BILL WATTERSON

Invention Mother Motherhood
I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
BILL WATTERSON

Little Surreal Trying
Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.
BILL WATTERSON

Architect Form Function
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary

I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!

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I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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