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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

Bill Watterson

So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON

Esteem Expectations Secret Self
Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSON

Assembly Baby Cheaper Dad Light Sears
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Luck Lucky Rockets
You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulation Cynically Expect Manipulate Nothing Taught
If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.
BILL WATTERSON

Reason Volume Winning
You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
BILL WATTERSON

Humans Pride Source
I’m a misunderstood genius.” “What’s misunderstood?” “Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
BILL WATTERSON

Genius Misunderstood Thinking
I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?
BILL WATTERSON

Allowed Hello Rattle Say Stop Swear Words
I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.
BILL WATTERSON

Liked Thing Understand
Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I’m looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I’ll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What’s your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.
BILL WATTERSON

Everyone Knows Letter Played Score Word
I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
Do you feel lonely? I don’t have the courage to face reality so I get lost in my dreams. You know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
BILL WATTERSON

Courage Different Everything Lonely Pretty
There are no restrictions of taste, approach, or subject matter. The gatekeepers are gone, so the prospect for new and different voices is exciting. Or at least it will be if anyone reads them.
BILL WATTERSON

Different Gatekeepers Gone Prospects Voice

I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

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Popular Authors

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