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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

Bill Watterson

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
BILL WATTERSON

Class League Superhero
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.
BILL WATTERSON

Grow Up Ideas People
It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
BILL WATTERSON

Incinerated People Religious
Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Frustration Life Like Running
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Giving Hilarious
I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Ideas Recognizing Success Trying
Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbes Thinking Wells
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
Although I’m certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I’m fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.
BILL WATTERSON

Art Deconstruction Needs Offering Sometimes
Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.
BILL WATTERSON

Peace Play War
If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.
BILL WATTERSON

Reason Volume Winning
County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.
BILL WATTERSON

Definitions Desk Library Needs Reference
Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
BILL WATTERSON

Cute Friday Life Sunday
You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Failure Resources Wells
So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
BILL WATTERSON

Graduation Real World
Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
BILL WATTERSON

Boys Kids Resources Scary Supposed

I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

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