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If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.

Bill Hicks

People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’
BILL HICKS

People Phrases Shotguns
See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you’ve got the money!
BILL HICKS

Country Expression United States
Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
BILL HICKS

Country Government Stupid
What does an atheist scream when they come?
BILL HICKS

Atheist Come Scream
Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
BILL HICKS

Rushing Satan Speaking Watch
Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
BILL HICKS

Country Employment Way
Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
BILL HICKS

Clueless People Stupid
Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
BILL HICKS

Bible Book Chocolate Race
I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
BILL HICKS

Coffee Real Skins
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
BILL HICKS

Believe Humanity Ideas Revolutionary
I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
BILL HICKS

Enthusiasm Party Rocks
If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
BILL HICKS

Block Cemeteries Funny Humor
Marijuana grows naturally…Don’t you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don’t know, unnatural?
BILL HICKS

Law Marijuana Thinking
It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
BILL HICKS

Cards Dog Objects Tricks
I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
BILL HICKS

Evening Information Reality
When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
BILL HICKS

Doe Guy Occur Thinking Work

If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.

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If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Hicks Quotes