I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
BILL HICKSI used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
-
-
If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
BILL HICKS -
I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
BILL HICKS -
Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
BILL HICKS -
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
BILL HICKS -
If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
BILL HICKS -
Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
BILL HICKS -
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
BILL HICKS -
Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
BILL HICKS -
I ascribe to Mark Twain’s theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.
BILL HICKS -
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
BILL HICKS -
I’ve had seven balls of light come off a UFO…explain to me telepathically we are all one and there’s no such thing as death.
BILL HICKS -
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
BILL HICKS -
Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
BILL HICKS -
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS -
I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
BILL HICKS






