I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
BILL HICKSThe economy that’s fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government’s cracking down… on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
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Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’
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I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.
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We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!
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I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous — as long as you’re honest.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?…No, it’s not…That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve.
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I’ve had good times on drugs…bad times on drugs…But I’ve had good and bad relationships…and I’m not giving up pussy.
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not all drugs are good.. some of them are great
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint… it has to do with creating and sharing.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
BILL HICKS