What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
BILL HICKSSurgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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We really are All One….this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint… it has to do with creating and sharing.
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As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
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And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, “This is my creation, perfect in every way… oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it… Now I have to create Republicans.”
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I wouldn’t give Satan a snowball’s chance in Hell against a woman’s ego.
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I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
BILL HICKS