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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.

Bill Hicks

Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS

Caffeine Energize Friday Monday Productive The Figure
I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
BILL HICKS

Christian Jesus Kings Neck
You want a better world…? Legalize pot right now. …end the deficit? Legalize pot right now…biggest cash crop in America.
BILL HICKS

Cash Country World
I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Mean
I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
BILL HICKS

Enthusiasm Party Rocks
I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Two
I’ve had good times on drugs…bad times on drugs…But I’ve had good and bad relationships…and I’m not giving up pussy.
BILL HICKS

Bad Drug Giving Relationship Up
STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
BILL HICKS

After Know Stratford Sucks Suppose
I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
BILL HICKS

Light Middlemen Mind Source
I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.
BILL HICKS

Government Sorry Talking
I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
BILL HICKS

Believe Self Voice
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
BILL HICKS

Country Party Political
This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
BILL HICKS

Bad Drug Everybody Hypocritical Okay One
I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
BILL HICKS

Drink Friday Weekend
All day long you see those commercials: ‘Here’s Your Brain, Just Say No’…and the next commercial is: ‘This Bud’s For You.’
BILL HICKS

Brain Bud Commercial Long
Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
BILL HICKS

Ideas Revolutionary Tattoo Worry

If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.

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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.

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