Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKSIf I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
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You want a better world…? Legalize pot right now. …end the deficit? Legalize pot right now…biggest cash crop in America.
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I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
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I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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I’ve had good times on drugs…bad times on drugs…But I’ve had good and bad relationships…and I’m not giving up pussy.
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STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
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I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.
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I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
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I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
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All day long you see those commercials: ‘Here’s Your Brain, Just Say No’…and the next commercial is: ‘This Bud’s For You.’
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Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
BILL HICKS