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At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.

Bill Hicks

I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
BILL HICKS

Collective Ego Trying Unconscious
Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
BILL HICKS

Add Comedy might Show
Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
BILL HICKS

Clueless People Stupid
We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn’t a hazard to this country-How’re we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?
BILL HICKS

Country Hazard Nuclear
…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe?
BILL HICKS

Beliefs Children Religion Sorry Superstitious
I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.
BILL HICKS

Bullshit Humanity Shoes Tired
If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
BILL HICKS

Block Cemeteries Funny Humor
I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
BILL HICKS

Esteem Feeling Better Self War
That’s why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you’ve learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
BILL HICKS

Drug Facts Make Psychedelic Realize
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
BILL HICKS

Everything Funny Humor Life
God has this…hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
BILL HICKS

Hobbies Perfect Reality
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
BILL HICKS

Believe Created Self World
Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
BILL HICKS

Land might Pick Please
I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
BILL HICKS

Embarrassing Light Men Thinking
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
BILL HICKS

Added Age Bible People Years

At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.

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At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Hicks Quotes