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No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,

Bill Hicks

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
BILL HICKS

Country Government Stupid
England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.
BILL HICKS

Connections Gun States United
All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
BILL HICKS

Ems Raise Real Taught
Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.
BILL HICKS

Energizer Language Music
It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
BILL HICKS

Cards Dog Objects Tricks
I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
BILL HICKS

Christian Running Wish
Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
BILL HICKS

Rushing Satan Speaking Watch
What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
BILL HICKS

Arms Government Realizing
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS

Country Light Thinking
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor People Two
I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.
BILL HICKS

Bunny Celebrating Commemorating Easter Jesus Kings
May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
BILL HICKS

Day Glasses Perhaps Water
How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?
BILL HICKS

Arm Justify Ones Realize
If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
BILL HICKS

Block Cemeteries Funny Humor
I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
BILL HICKS

Bye Country
The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
BILL HICKS

Benefits Reason Voice

No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,

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No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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