Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
BILL HICKSI ascribe to Mark Twain’s theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
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You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I’m not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that’s the connection they’re trying to make.
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I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
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The economy that’s fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government’s cracking down… on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
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Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
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Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
BILL HICKS