Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride …
BILL HICKSI got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
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Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
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No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,
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And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, “This is my creation, perfect in every way… oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it… Now I have to create Republicans.”
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Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
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It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
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My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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not all drugs are good.. some of them are great
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I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
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I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
BILL HICKS