American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
BILL BAILEYThere we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
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Tonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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The so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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What I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
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I tend to go through periods worrying, “Where am I going, I can’t see a way out of this,” and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
BILL BAILEY