Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
BILL BAILEYA horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
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Three women walk into a pub and say, ‘Hooray, we’ve colonised a male-dominated joke format’
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I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
BILL BAILEY -
I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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This shed does not contain me.
BILL BAILEY