A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
BILL BAILEYA horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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Three women walk into a pub and say, ‘Hooray, we’ve colonised a male-dominated joke format’
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
BILL BAILEY






