There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
BILL BAILEYA horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
BILL BAILEY







