Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEYI am a confectionery-based existentialist.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that’s undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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What I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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Stupid National Anthem… Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? “Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit.”
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
BILL BAILEY