Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying ‘Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.’
BILL BAILEYI am a confectionery-based existentialist.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
-
-
It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
BILL BAILEY -
Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
BILL BAILEY -
I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
BILL BAILEY -
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
BILL BAILEY -
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEY -
There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
BILL BAILEY -
I think we’ve missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro… to catch whatever it is that’s forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it’s a bit of a long shot.
BILL BAILEY -
I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
BILL BAILEY -
My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
BILL BAILEY -
Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
BILL BAILEY -
In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
BILL BAILEY -
Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
BILL BAILEY -
Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
BILL BAILEY -
This shed does not contain me.
BILL BAILEY -
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
BILL BAILEY