black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.

Bernie Mac

You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine
Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.
BERNIE MAC

Car Unreal Want Wind
I think a lot of TV insults the audience.
BERNIE MAC

Insult Television Thinking
My girlfriend Rhonda, who’s now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, ‘You’ve got to do the right thing.’
BERNIE MAC

Girlfriend Right School Things Wife
The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Issue Matter Politically
I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Cutting Hair Head Maintenance Myself
I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.
BERNIE MAC

Perfect Robot Trying
Hugs aren’t like pieces of pie. Plenty of hugs to go around.
BERNIE MAC

Hug Pie Pieces Plenty
My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.
BERNIE MAC

Always Finish Grandmother
Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.
BERNIE MAC

Actors might Pain Producer
It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, ‘Why am I so black?’ And she said, ‘Because I’m black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.’
BERNIE MAC

Dark Hard Heart Mom Rough Work
Every time you see a black romance it’s over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.
BERNIE MAC

Romance Sex Strong Woman
They say if you don’t have your health you ain’t got nothing, but the truth is you ain’t got nothing if you don’t have no one to worry about your health.
BERNIE MAC

Health Nothing Truth Worry
Sometimes when you lose you win, son. Failure is just life’s way of preparing you for success.
BERNIE MAC

Son Success Way Winning
I took my sports experience to my life on stage. That’s why I’m so disciplined. Playing sports, I was always underestimated. I was never picked first to do anything. This always helped me. It taught me how to push myself.
BERNIE MAC

Anything Firsts Help Push Sports Taught
America…Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch…My James Brown.
BERNIE MAC

Country Party Rap School Touch
I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Dresses Everything Fun
Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?
BERNIE MAC

Country Lying Start Writing
Whatever success I’ve had, I always like to top it.
BERNIE MAC

Always Comedy Like Success
I was a street performer for two years.
BERNIE MAC

Performs Streets Two Years
Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.
BERNIE MAC

Able Laughing Red Same Time
I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn’t changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.
BERNIE MAC

Cities House Neighbourhood South Years
I love who I am. I love what I’ve become.
BERNIE MAC

Become Create Love
The two sides of Bernie – that’s a quiet weapon that I have.
BERNIE MAC

Quiet Sides Two Weapons
People like rumors. They’re going to say things like, ‘You was at the club with Lil’ Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.’ You can’t get upset. You’ve got to keep hope alive.
BERNIE MAC

Alive Fighting People Upset
When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je’Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.
BERNIE MAC

Daughter Jobs Later Married Mother
You have to meet all of the challenges, big and small. Because how you start is how you finish.
BERNIE MAC

Big Challenges Motivational

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bernie Mac Quotes