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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

Bernie Mac

The Bernie Mac Show’ is my life. It’s the truth, and I’m not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.
BERNIE MAC

Hours Minutes
Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.
BERNIE MAC

Actors might Pain Producer
My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.
BERNIE MAC

Always Finish Grandmother
When you’re offstage, that’s the footprint. That’s the man God’s gonna judge.
BERNIE MAC

Footprint God Judging Men
I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’
BERNIE MAC

Directly Frustrated Manual Mistake Selfish
I think a lot of TV insults the audience.
BERNIE MAC

Insult Television Thinking
Fear is not one of my attributes.
BERNIE MAC

Attributes Fear One
I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.
BERNIE MAC

Clown Comedian Funny
If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.
BERNIE MAC

Bigger Laughing Stories
The two sides of Bernie – that’s a quiet weapon that I have.
BERNIE MAC

Quiet Sides Two Weapons
I’m so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.
BERNIE MAC

Black Coal Fingerprints
You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.
BERNIE MAC

Cameras Comes Light Men Microphone
I don’t care about how I look; I’m dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so – my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn’t care about being cool.
BERNIE MAC

Laughing Names People Training
I took my sports experience to my life on stage. That’s why I’m so disciplined. Playing sports, I was always underestimated. I was never picked first to do anything. This always helped me. It taught me how to push myself.
BERNIE MAC

Anything Firsts Help Push Sports Taught
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine
It’s a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.
BERNIE MAC

Just Pleasure Someone Strong
I have so much respect for what’s funny.
BERNIE MAC

Funny Mush Respect
My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.
BERNIE MAC

Changed Foolishness Make Sense
Making people laugh is what I’ve been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don’t care about how I look, I’m dedicated to the laughs.
BERNIE MAC

Laughing Life Live Making Passion Years
When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je’Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.
BERNIE MAC

Daughter Jobs Later Married Mother
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC

Able Discipline Gun Machine Onwer
I’m an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
BERNIE MAC

Extraordinary Guy Jobs Ordinary
The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.
BERNIE MAC

Audience Comedy Thing
I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.
BERNIE MAC

Perfect Robot Trying
Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
BERNIE MAC

Barbers Hear Shop Stay
Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.
BERNIE MAC

Car Unreal Want Wind
I’ve introduced myself with comedy, and once you’ve introduced yourself as something, that’s where people keep you. That’s where people like to hold you.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Introduces Myself People

Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bernie Mac Quotes