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I was a street performer for two years.

Bernie Mac

America…Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch…My James Brown.
BERNIE MAC

Country Party Rap School Touch
Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? ‘Cause he had problems.
BERNIE MAC

Causes People Problem
I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.
BERNIE MAC

Around Shoes South Stupid Voice
Black audiences are hard. They always think they’re better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.
BERNIE MAC

Black Littles Satisfy Thinking
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC

Able Discipline Gun Machine Onwer
I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.
BERNIE MAC

Arms Break Needs
I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.
BERNIE MAC

Office Running
I’m very much disciplined because I’m more mature. When I was young I just wanted to live, I could jump, I could run, I was quick and I was relentless.
BERNIE MAC

Mature Relentless Running
I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.
BERNIE MAC

Guy Like People Quality
I know doing movies is where I need to be. That’s where my audience wants to see me.
BERNIE MAC

Audience Needs Want
I don’t care about how I look; I’m dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so – my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn’t care about being cool.
BERNIE MAC

Laughing Names People Training
Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you’ve learned your lesson.
BERNIE MAC

Lesson Suffering Teacher
The Bernie Mac Show’ is my life. It’s the truth, and I’m not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.
BERNIE MAC

Hours Minutes
I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Dresses Everything Fun
I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.
BERNIE MAC

Play Waiting Want
They say if you don’t have your health you ain’t got nothing, but the truth is you ain’t got nothing if you don’t have no one to worry about your health.
BERNIE MAC

Health Nothing Truth Worry

I was a street performer for two years.

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I was a street performer for two years.

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