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I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I’m the least funny person in a room full of funny people.

Ben Feldman

You’ve got a problem. Part of what you own isn’t yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle Sam?
BEN FELDMAN

May Problem Uncles
Besides, switchboard girls and secretaries have become very good. They’ve learned to take you apart. ‘Who? Why? What for? What company?’ You don’t always get by. I seldom call on the phone. I’d rather go.
BEN FELDMAN

Apart Company Seldom Switchboard
I don’t like horror, which is ridiculous because I’ve been in three horror movies, but when I see those things, I see camera tricks and fake blood and actors screaming and I don’t know understand why other actors don’t see that.
BEN FELDMAN

Blood Camera Fake
I rarely use the telephone because he may not want to see me. I have a better chance of seeing the man I want to see if I do go.
BEN FELDMAN

Girl Men Phones
Life insurance is time. The time a man might not have. If he needs time, he needs life insurance.
BEN FELDMAN

Men might Needs
If I don’t buy it, I can’t sell it.
BEN FELDMAN

Sell
If you’re starting to lose your faith in the general intelligence of the American populous, there’s nothing like them mistaking pop culture for Van Gogh as a sign that people still read their history books and care about art.
BEN FELDMAN

Art Book People
The basic purpose of life insurance is to create cash…nothing more or nothing less. Everything else confuses and complicates.
BEN FELDMAN

Cash Life Purpose
Your biggest asset is a positive attitude. That more than anything else determines your earnings.
BEN FELDMAN

Assets Attitude Earning
No one ever died with too much money.
BEN FELDMAN

Died Too Much
When you audition for shows in Hollywood, you go in, you do your scene, maybe you get an adjustment. It’s sort of easy, and a lot of times it just feels sort of rote and simple.
BEN FELDMAN

New York Play Simple
When you walk out, the money walks in
BEN FELDMAN

Desire Money Walks
If people understood what life insurance does, we wouldn’t need salesmen to sell it. People would come knocking on the door. But they don’t understand.
BEN FELDMAN

Doe Doors People
Doing something costs something. Doing nothing costs something. And, quite often, doing nothing costs a lot more!
BEN FELDMAN

Cost Doing Nothing
I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I’m the least funny person in a room full of funny people.
BEN FELDMAN

Careers People Thinking
I never thought I was gonna live in LA. I thought I was gonna live in New York forever.
BEN FELDMAN

Country Forever Live

I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I’m the least funny person in a room full of funny people.

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I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I’m the least funny person in a room full of funny people.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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