I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
BEN ELTONI see dull people as projects … to be reformed
More Ben Elton Quotes
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
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There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
BEN ELTON






