You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTONI see dull people as projects … to be reformed
More Ben Elton Quotes
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I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
BEN ELTON






