I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
BEN ELTONThe appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
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And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
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I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
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I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
BEN ELTON