I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEYLooking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY -
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY -
Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY -
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
ANDY ROONEY







