Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCEA person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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