MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCEWomen of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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