Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCEWomen of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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