MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
AMBROSE BIERCEWomen of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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