“They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.”

He’s a million rubber bands in his resilience.

I have had the rich satisfaction of knowing and working with many openly gay and lesbian Americans.

Now it’s just sharp elbows, and instead of having a caucus where you sit down and say, ‘What are you doing for your country?’ you sit figuring out how to screw the other side.

And I have come to realize that “gay” is an artificial category when it comes to measuring a man or woman’s on-the-job performance or commitment to shared goals.

Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic.

An educated man is thoroughly inoculated against humbug, thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts, in speech or on paper, some style.

We have two political parties in this country, the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. I belong to the Stupid Party.

It doesn’t matter is you call it ‘Obama-care’ or ‘Elvis Presley care’ or ‘I-don’t-care care.’ It cannot sustain itself in its present form.

Reagan didn’t put anything off the table, if he felt it was for the good of the American people to tweak the tax system.

In your country club, your church, and business, about fifteen percent of the people are screwballs, lightweights, and boobs, and you would not want those people unrepresented in Congress.

If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.

There is no “slippery slope” toward loss of liberty, only a long staircase where each step down must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders.

Here is what she said, ‘I believe the truth is that we have no strong causal link between IRCA and discrimination.

Grandchildren now don’t write a thank you for the Christmas presents.

If you torture statistics long enough, they’ll eventually confess the truth

Every time one of us starts talking about more effective immigration controls, somebody else throws up the Statue of Liberty, how we’re a nation of immigrants and all of that.

There is a rhythm to the ending of a marriage just like the rhythm of a courtship, only backward.

A good soldier, whether he leads a platoon or an army, is expected to look backward as well as forward; but he must think only forward.

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

The world is a funny paper read backwards. And that way it isn’t so funny.

Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret.

When you’ve seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.

I had to be a grown-up when I should have been a little boy, and now that I’m a grown-up my little-boyness has exploded out of me. I’ve lived my life backwards.

Nowadays, anyone who cannot speak English and is incapable of using the Internet is regarded as backward.