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Now it’s just sharp elbows, and instead of having a caucus where you sit down and say, ‘What are you doing for your country?’ you sit figuring out how to screw the other side.

Alan Kooi Simpson

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There has to be a better way to meet those needs and demands than we are doing now.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Better Demand Do Meet Need Now Way
They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Backward Cap Dog Listen Man Pant Snoopy Walk
People tend to stay at home and eat a home-cooked meal.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Cook Eat Home Meal People Stay Tend
We have two political parties in this country, the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. I belong to the Stupid Party.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Belong Country Evil Party Political Stupid
The debate takes on tinges of racism, emotion.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Debate Emotion Racism Take Tinge
Nonetheless, GAO’s conclusion that employer sanctions had somehow caused employment discrimination was contradicted by GAO’s own Chief of Methodology, who criticized the GAO report.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Cause Chief Conclusion Contradict Discrimination Employer Employment Methodology Nonetheless Report Sanction Somehow
I think it is embarrassing to all of us who truly know the mission of the Refugee Act.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Act All Embarrass Mission Refugee Think True
A society like ours, which professes no one religion and has allowed all religions to decay, which indulges freedom to the point of license and individualism to the point of anarchy, needs all the support that responsible, cultivated homes can furnish. I hope your generation will provide a firmer shelter for civilized standards.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Allow Anarchy Decay Freedom Individual One Our Point Profess Religion Society
In your country club, your church, and business, about fifteen percent of the people are screwballs, lightweights, and boobs, and you would not want those people unrepresented in Congress.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Boob Business Church Congress Country Fifteen Lightweight People Percent Screwball Unpleasant
Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

heavy High Humility Road Traffic Travel Trouble
There is no “slippery slope” toward loss of liberty, only a long staircase where each step down must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Liberty Loss Slippery Slope Toward
There are three days that are really slow for restaurants – Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Christmas Day Easter Really Restaurant Show Thanksgiving Three
I look forward to the day when I can be Republican again. I’m an Alan Simpson Republican.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Again Forward Look People Republican
Every time one of us starts talking about more effective immigration controls, somebody else throws up the Statue of Liberty, how we’re a nation of immigrants and all of that.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Control Effective Immigrant Nation Somebody Start Talk Throw Wise
He’s a million rubber bands in his resilience.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Band Million Resilience Rubber
An educated man is thoroughly inoculated against humbug, thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts, in speech or on paper, some style.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Against Educate Himself Inoculate Page Speech Style
And in [my] view it is just as likely that the discrimination we found has always been there, or that it is spurious, as that IRCA has caused it.’
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Always Cause Discrimination Found Like Spurious View
If you torture statistics long enough, they’ll eventually confess the truth
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Confess Enough Eventually Statistic Truth Virtue
I have had the rich satisfaction of knowing and working with many openly gay and lesbian Americans.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Country Gay Know Lesbian Ope Satisfaction Work
It says little about the person. Our differences and prejudices pale next to our historic challenge.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Challenge Difference Historical Little Next Person Prejudice Say
It doesn’t matter is you call it ‘Obama-care’ or ‘Elvis Presley care’ or ‘I-don’t-care care.’ It cannot sustain itself in its present form.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Call Care Itself Matter Present Sustain
Reagan didn’t put anything off the table, if he felt it was for the good of the American people to tweak the tax system.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Anything Country Felt System Table Tax Tweak
Grandchildren now don’t write a thank you for the Christmas presents.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Christmas Grandchildren Present Thank Write
And I have come to realize that “gay” is an artificial category when it comes to measuring a man or woman’s on-the-job performance or commitment to shared goals.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Artificial Category Come Commitment Goal Job Man Measure Performance Realize Share Woman
Any education that matters is liberal. All the saving truths, all the healing graces that distinguish a good education from a bad one or a full education from a half empty one are contained in that word.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Education Liberal Mature
I consider abortion to be a deeply personal and intimate issue for women and I don’t believe male legislators should even vote on the issue.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Abortion Consider Deeply Intimate Issue Personal Women
So let us take our fair share of the true refugees and act responsible as a government in providing for their necessary expenses.
ALAN KOOI SIMPSON

Expense Fair Government Necessary Provide Refugee Responsible Share

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