Differ though we might with Christianity’s view of what precisely our souls need, it is hard to discredit the provocative underlying thesis.
ALAIN DE BOTTONDo you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test.
More Alain de Botton Quotes
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One of the best protections against disappointment is to have a lot going on.
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The telephone becomes an instrument of torture in the demonic hands of a beloved who doesn’t call.
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Wealth is not an absolute. It is relative to desire. Every time we yearn for something we cannot afford, we grow poorer, whatever our resources. And every time we feel satisfied with what we have, we can be counted as rich, however little we may actually possess.
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You have to be quite heavily invested in someone to do them the honour of telling them you’re annoyed with them.
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To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. And under such care, we flourish.
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The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness”.
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The greatest works of art speak to us without knowing us.
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At the heart of every frustration lies a basic structure: the collision of a wish with an unyielding reality.
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In the gap between who we wish one day to be and who we are at present, must come pain, anxiety, envy and humiliation.
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Our capacity to draw happiness from aesthetic objects or material goods in fact seems critically dependent on our first satisfying a more important range of emotional or psychological needs, among them the need for understanding, for love, expression and respect.
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Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along.
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In the works of Lucretius, we find two reasons why we shouldn’t worry about death. If you have had a successful life, Lucretius tell us, there’s no reason to mind its end. And, if you haven’t had a good time, “Why do you seek to add more years, which would also pass but ill?”
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After 40 (old age for most of man’s history), one should strive to be more or less packed and ready to go were the end call to come.
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How do the stems connect to the roots?’ ‘Where is the mist coming from?’ ‘Why does one tree seem darker than another?’ These questions are implicitly asked and answered in the process of sketching.
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We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.
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