black
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Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I’d just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.

Al Yankovic

Maybe I’ll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.
AL YANKOVIC

Belly Button Color Huge Maybe Social Taboo
I’m an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I’m a relation to Frankenstein’s creation.
AL YANKOVIC

Acne Bag Everywhere Facial Girl Hair Make Ugly Unwanted
I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.
AL YANKOVIC

Different Difficult Figure Out Same Sometimes Thing
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Autograph Come Next Permanent Show Somebody Time Up
I’m very analytical, I’m very precise.
AL YANKOVIC

Analytical Precise Very
There’s a lot of different ways that a song would be a challenge to parody.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Challenge Clever Different Fashion Lot Parody Sign Song
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
AL YANKOVIC

Barbecue Down Face Heal Heart Scar Slam
In the ’80s, I was the only game in town, I was the only one getting that kind of exposure in any rotation on MTV.
AL YANKOVIC

Eighty Exposure Game Getting Kind One Only Rotation Town
I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Fantastic Go Hairbrush Live Mirror OK Rock Sing Star Suppose Weird
The window doesn’t open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven’t been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.
AL YANKOVIC

Ace Blue Broke Crowd Fan Open Since Turn Window
So I try not to pick songs that I know would drive me crazy.
AL YANKOVIC

Crazy Drive Know Pick Song Try
Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
AL YANKOVIC

Bottle Coke End Got Left Nestle Record Stuck Sun Tongue
I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.
AL YANKOVIC

Abuduct Fair Kind Look Space
I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.
AL YANKOVIC

Actual Best Most Obvious Route Sometimes Try
About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Editor Five Good Guest Idea Issue Month Nanosecond Nice Offer Pretty
There are probably a few library fines I haven’t paid yet, but I’m a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
AL YANKOVIC

Cut Fine Guy Library Overall Paid Pretty Probably

Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I’d just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.

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Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I’d just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.

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