I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
AL FRANKENIf 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.
More Al Franken Quotes
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They had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that.
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I wish I had spent more time at the office and less time in prison.
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I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
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When people talked about protecting their privacy when I was growing up, they were talking about protecting it from the government.
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I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
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Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government asked me to serve as a fellow at its Shorenstein Center on the Press, Politics, and Public Policy.
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As a source of innovation, an engine of our economy, and a forum for our political discourse.
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Teen pregnancy went way down in the ’90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
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You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad.
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Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
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Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
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After my varied and celebrated career in television, movies, publishing, and the lucrative world of corporate speaking, being a fellow at Harvard seemed, frankly, like a step down.
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Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
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My dad was a terrible businessman.
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Tend to be people who didn’t take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.
AL FRANKEN