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Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
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Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.
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Administration Ball Invite Perk
Changing technologies, changing marketplaces, and even changing trends in anti-competitive practices have all presented challenges to antitrust enforcement.
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Anti-competitive Antitrust Challenge Change Enforcement Even Marketplace Practice Technology Trend
It was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.
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Hard Him Know People Person Private Project
When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn’t exist.
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Eighties Exist Interest Seventies Show Start Television Worry Write
Sometimes if I tell people, ‘I’m afraid that I’m really a fraud,’ or ‘I have a lot of self-doubt,’ they go.
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Afraid Doubt Fraud Go Lot People Self Sometimes Tell
If we have George W. Bush as president, we’re going to go back to the kind of policies we had when his father and Ronald Reagan were president.
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Back Father Going Kind Person Policy President
Too many people don’t protect their smartphones with a password or PIN.
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Apple Iphon Many Password Pin Protect Smartphone
One thing I’ve noticed about politics is that these guys have pretty thick hides.
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Guy Hide Notice One Politics Pretty Thick Thing
Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.
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Begining Internet Net Neutrality Place Since
During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.
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Administration Bob Ceremony Country During Each Evil Include Live Present President
Teen pregnancy went way down in the ’90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
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Contraception Down Increase Pregnancy Use Way Went
People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
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Breath Cause Decline Each Enough Farm Hog Industrial Live Lucky People Property Value Vicinity
I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it’s a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us.
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Dry Kill Little might Much Person Problem Think Us Use
My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman.
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Dad Graduate High Salesman School Two
We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren’t rich – but we felt secure.
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Bath Bedroom Felt House Live One Rich Secure Two

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