There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.
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More Al Franken Quotes
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I want to reclaim ‘liberal.’ I’m a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.
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People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
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Looking at a tableau of Ford, Carter and Nixon, Dole said, ‘There they are: Hear No Evil, See No Evil and Evil.’
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Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
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I feel a deep obligation to the men and women who have risked life and limb on our behalf.
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If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.
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I mean, there is a part of the media that’s not the mainstream media. That’s Fox, that is ‘The Wall Street Journal’ editorial page.
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I couldn’t think of anything less appealing than molding the minds of tomorrow’s leaders.
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I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
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If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.
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Sometimes if I tell people, ‘I’m afraid that I’m really a fraud,’ or ‘I have a lot of self-doubt,’ they go.
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They’re trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they’re worried about declining home values, they’re scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.
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I’ve been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you’re under pressure.
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