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Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

Al Franken

They’re trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they’re worried about declining home values, they’re scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.
AL FRANKEN

Care College Country Decline Health Home Kid Pay Scare Send Serve Try Value Worry
I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
AL FRANKEN

Cream Handle President Soda Want
Looking at a tableau of Ford, Carter and Nixon, Dole said, ‘There they are: Hear No Evil, See No Evil and Evil.’
AL FRANKEN

Hear Look No President
My dad didn’t graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made more than $8,000 a year.
AL FRANKEN

Dad End Graduate Mom Print Real Salesman School
It’s not preppies, cause I’m a preppie myself. I just don’t like homosexuals. If you ask me, they’re all homosexuals in the Pudding. Hey, I was glad when that Pudding homosexual got killed in Philadelphia.
AL FRANKEN

Her Homosexual Myself Philadelphia Preppy Pud
Medicare was established to secure that promise.
AL FRANKEN

Establish Medicare Promise Secure
Too many people don’t protect their smartphones with a password or PIN.
AL FRANKEN

Apple Iphon Many Password Pin Protect Smartphone
Most Americans don’t think about antitrust law when they look at their cable bill, flip channels on TV, or worry about what their favorite website knows about them. But they should.
AL FRANKEN

Antitrust Bill Cable Channel Country Favorite Law Look Most Think Website Worry
I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
AL FRANKEN

Anyone Challenge Couple Deny Gay Joy Married Think Understand
I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state.
AL FRANKEN

Bipolar Earth Exist Hell People Physical Psychological State Think
I’ve had a great time. I like the people in Hollywood a lot.
AL FRANKEN

Great Like Hollywood Lot People Time
The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone.
AL FRANKEN

Come Everyone Importance Innovation Internet Nature Neutrality
I think that the default for collecting any kind of personal data should be opt-in consent.
AL FRANKEN

Card Collect Consent Data Default Personal Think
Being a comedian, you’re under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform – to deal with pressure without stress.
AL FRANKEN

Comedian Deal Perform Pressure Stress Under
You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad.
AL FRANKEN

Bad Country Criticize Everything Grow Up Liberal Love Mommy Powerful
that is eventually going to have an effect on soldiers and troops who are actually going to believe that and it’s wrong. It’s just wrong.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Believe Effect Eventually Go Soldier Wrong

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

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Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

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