I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
AL FRANKENThere is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.
More Al Franken Quotes
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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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When a company is able to establish a dominant market position, consumers lose meaningful choices.
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During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.
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We basically had dinner every night while watching the news, and then we’d discuss it with our parents.
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Anyone with an Internet connection and a few dollars can obtain personal information they should never have access to, including a user’s date of birth, e-mail address, or estimated income.
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The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.
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I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.
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The way I see it, I’m not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I’m going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota.
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He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks.
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I couldn’t think of anything less appealing than molding the minds of tomorrow’s leaders.
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But adult love means you’re not in denial, and you want the loved one to be the best they can be.
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Medicare was established to secure that promise.
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The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans’ privacy.
AL FRANKEN