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In my first week as a U.S. senator, I had the privilege of participating in the Supreme Court confirmation hearing for Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

Al Franken

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, ‘Hi’ to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.
AL FRANKEN

Come Conversation Dog Pet Place Same Say Strike Up
You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its Mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its Mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay.
AL FRANKEN

Adult Child Children Country Like Love Mean Mommy Somebody
Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
AL FRANKEN

Attention Best Love Take Thing Work World
I had a great time working on the movies, both the major movies I’ve done.
AL FRANKEN

Done Great Hollywood Major Movie People Time Work
During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.
AL FRANKEN

Career College Country Deferment Enjoy Military Student
I don’t think I’m an angry person. I think I’m a person who’s angry. I’m angry at the Bush administration;
AL FRANKEN

Administration Angry Bush Mean Person Think Wall
There’s going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration’s relationship to Russia.
AL FRANKEN

Administration Campaign Country Independent Investigation Relationship
And terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
AL FRANKEN

Indiscriminate Make Murder Point Political Terror
Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran.
AL FRANKEN

Break Country Dog Eye Isolation People Service
Anyone with an Internet connection and a few dollars can obtain personal information they should never have access to, including a user’s date of birth, e-mail address, or estimated income.
AL FRANKEN

Access Address Anyone Birth Connection Dollar E-mail Estimate Few Income Information Internet never Obtain Personal User
The important thing about advice is that it is simply that. Advice.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Important Simply Think
At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.
AL FRANKEN

Axe Belief Felt Grind Left Out Own Political Snow Stuff Wrote
Google’s screen for privacy settings does give you more options for what you share than Apple’s does. But it’s not a complete list, and people aren’t aware of whether or not that information will go to a third party.
AL FRANKEN

Apple Aware Complete Google Information More Option Party People Privacy Screen Setting Share
The institutions that we’ve built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don’t apply to the private sector.
AL FRANKEN

Apply Built Government Individual Institution Privacy Private Protect Right Sector Year
You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections – the presence you’ve spent years establishing on the world’s dominant social network?
AL FRANKEN

Delete Dominant Establish Facebook Opinion Political Really Social Spend World Year

In my first week as a U.S. senator, I had the privilege of participating in the Supreme Court confirmation hearing for Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

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In my first week as a U.S. senator, I had the privilege of participating in the Supreme Court confirmation hearing for Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

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