Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKENI’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.
More Al Franken Quotes
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When the Constitution was written, the founders had no way of anticipating the new technologies that would evolve in the coming centuries.
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I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.
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I believe in not attacking a country pre-emptively unless you’re sure of what you’re doing and you’re working with allies.
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I think there are all kinds of different hells. It’s not a place you go to after you die.
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Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
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The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.
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My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O’Reilly is kind of a bully, and he’s the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground.
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I’ve had a great time. I like the people in Hollywood a lot.
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The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to corporations.
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The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they’ve had minor leagues.
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Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn’t do the only job they’re supposed to have.
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Liberals don’t hate America. We love America more than Ann Coulter does. I love it enough to engage my readers honestly.
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Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.
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Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
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Which is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.
AL FRANKEN