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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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I think diversity in television is important. It’s not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity.
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They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
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I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
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Absolutely Baby Dynasty Fan Giant Long Time
I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
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I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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I was raised by a single dad, so I’ve always just kind of liked “guys” stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.
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It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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