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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.

Aisha Tyler

I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
AISHA TYLER

Fell Job Love Miserable One Performing Realize Slowly Stand Unhappy
My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
AISHA TYLER

Cloth Kids Parent School Stick Vegetarian
I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
AISHA TYLER

Afraid Couple Day Everyone Fault Kill Other People Point Want
I was not one of those people who wanted to be a comedian when I was growing up. I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living.
AISHA TYLER

College Comedian Growing Kid Loving People Up Wanted
You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
AISHA TYLER

Fail Failure Fun Hard Learn Need Winning
They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
AISHA TYLER

Always Challenge Fix People Some Women
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
AISHA TYLER

Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie
I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
AISHA TYLER

Back Country Some Toronto Wait Waiting
Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
AISHA TYLER

Battle Easy Fought Goal Hard Motivational Sacrifice Worth
I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
AISHA TYLER

Across Audience Come Enough Know Smart Treat Word
I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
AISHA TYLER

Glamorous Stand Tell Up
Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
AISHA TYLER

Accomplishment Passionate Require Running Sorry Success Wall Work
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
AISHA TYLER

Always Anyone Going Impossible Mistake People Sometimes Thinking
I was raised by a single dad, so I’ve always just kind of liked “guys” stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.
AISHA TYLER

Dad Guy Kind Like Single Stuff Thinking
So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
AISHA TYLER

Doing Funny Life Live Minute Much Quick Radio Sou Spot Stand Stranger Surgical Three
Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
AISHA TYLER

Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish

No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.

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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.

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